Body language caveat

By Nav Raj Pokharel

Human behavior could have been different from what it is now, if the human had been deprived of vocal ability.
Humans’ ability to maneuver vocal communications has put the species at the superlative height among social animals. However, understanding nonverbal communications that humans constantly ooze out like a communicating machine can still bring about a new paradigm shift in understanding human behavior.

One human’s ability to understand another human can be different once we observe his body language at the same time when he speaks.

Body language and language of private distance seep out more than 60 percent clues and underneath intent of a person at particular time, place and situation.

A person who is speaking in front of the audience may be tricky but his body always remains honest. He may ploy to persuade his audience with much fitting and soothing words fetched from far and near and yoked them into the most effectual syntax, his body that is honest and innocent as a child, will underpin whether he is tell the truth.

Read the language the body communicates next time you meet your friend. Your friend may smile at you to impress you that he feels happy to meet you again. If his eyes, too, does not smile when he smiles at you, you will instantly know that he is not as happy as he pretends to be. This enables you to see inside of him as if you are reading his mind.

Body of the human cannot stay being unresponsive when s/he speaks. The body disseminates the real thinking of the person who owns the body. The Human and his body are, as if, two separate living creatures forcefully molded into one human shape, destined to coexist together.

Whatever the person does, the way s/he walks and speaks or maintains silence, the body constantly but unnoticeably involves itself in the process of communication. Therefore, observing the body message of a person, the way he behaves at a particular moment, you can read his real intention.
The bottom line of all this is that you cannot control all of your muscles, and especially the muscles in your face. You cannot avoid sending a constant stream of signals about what you are feeling and thinking, because you are a communicating machine.
Before you dive into trying to control what your body is doing and communicating, consider this: there are more than 600 muscles in the human body.
In your face alone, you have about 90 muscles, 30 of which are there purely to express emotion. Moreover, just do not merely look at the face of the person while he is talking, go beyond it and watch for the message. You will know exactly what the person, who is talking with his boss even maintaining good distance from you, is embrocating for a favour or maintaining social courtesy.
Much aggression, love, sympathy, apathy, mischief, misgiving and signals of intimidation covered under the finesse words can be seen in the face. Disapproving frowns and pursed lips to sneers and full snarls are obvious threats signals coming from facial expression venting anger. The eyes communicate in non-verbal words better.
To have cursory look and occasionally holding it at someone for a period of two or three seconds is quite natural. Holding gaze at some body for five seconds sends signal that he is interested in. More than six second invites trouble, if you are caught looking like that at opposite gender. Try this anywhere if you want to crosscheck its authenticity.

A bored person looks anywhere but not at the person who is talking to him. He finds other things to do. Bored people often repeat actions such as swinging feet, tapping toes or drumming fingers. The repetition may escalate as they try to signal their boredom.
Act of invasion is also important aspect of nonverbal language. Everyone feels comfortable and secure in his/her private space (social distance). Encroaching of the private space is similar to intruding the territory of a nation. Avoid it if you do not want to wage a war.
Invasion is often done under the cloak of familiarity, where they act as if they are being friendly and move into a space reserved for friends, but without being invited. This gives the other person a dilemma of whether to repel a 'friendly' advance or to accept dominance of the other.
Touching to a person is yet another form of invasion. Even touching at social touch zones such as shoulder, arm and back can invite an aggressive reaction at occasion. If you cannot avoid or react to the touch coming from your unsolicited colleagues, friend or seniors, you are likely to fall into their domination differently.
The public zone is generally regarded a distance over 12 feet. We will start to notice other people who are within this radius. The closer they get, the more you become aware and ready yourself for appropriate action.
Within the social zone of 4 to 12 feet in radius, humans start to feel a connection with other people. When they are closer, then they can talk with them without having to shout, but still keep them at a safe distance.
In the personal zone of 1.5 to 4 feet of distance, the conversation gets more direct, and this is a good distance for two people who are talking in earnest about something.
When a person is within arms reach or closer to 1.5 to 0 feet in distance, then s/he can touch the other in intimate ways. You can also see more detail of his/her body language and look into the eyes. Romance of all kinds happens in this space.

One secret of reading body language is to look for things that happen at the same time. Thus if you ask them a searching question and they close their body or pretend they did not quite understand your question, then this may be an indication that they do not want to tell the truth. It may also, mean that they do not like your aggressive style, so you should be aware of your part in the dance and change your style accordingly. ##